Dr. Mike's New Diet Revolution!!!

Millions and millions of dollars are spent by us fat people on every new diet fad that comes around. People eat cabbage, bananas, all meat, all vegetables, and any other thing that you can imagine so long as it comes packaged with the promise of eternal and lasting weight loss.

Just turn on the late night and early morning informercials and you will find formerly fat people singing the praises of the six-week body makeover, the Atkins diet, and many other diets de jour. Us fat people look at the skinny people in the infomercials and decide to lay down $39.95 per month for the chance to change our bodies. Fitness Celebrity Jon Basedow, here I come. Take me to six-pack ab land! (I think that I still have abs somewhere down there).

Now really, if it were that easy, would America be so stinkin' chock full of hefty, oversize people? The real results of the fat loss gurus? Well, let me put it this way, the only thing I lost on my last diet was $39.95 per month for 4 months! (But I did get some cool stretchy band things that are supposed to shape me into an athlete in 15 minutes per day!)

Anyway, I started thinking. The reason that most diets fail is because people fail to achiever their short-term and long-term weight goals and then they just give up. Most people just can't stand failure. So I figure if I can come up with a diet that eliminates failure, I'll soon have enough to build next to Bill Gates. Well..... I have had a dieting epiphany.

Here's my thinking. Eliminate failure. My diet focuses on success. I am trying to reach the person who wants to set realistic, achievable goals. So, what's reasonable? It's simple. I've tried it. It works.

My plan? Well....I set my goal to gain 5 pounds before Thanksgiving. I gave myself three weeks, which I felt was realistic. I made cards for my three main eating groups: chips and salty snacks, chocolate and desserts, and red meats. Each day I have to pick at least three cards from each group and eat the corresponding food on that card. I achieved my weight goal in less than two weeks!!!

Instead of feeling defeated and depressed for failing to meet my goals, I was excited about overachieving for once in the weight-watching world. I even celebrated by going out to eat!!!! Get ready folks, this is the diet wave of the future. Guilt free overeating designed to achieve realistic goals. Move over Richard Simmons!!!!

Oh, gotta go. I hear an ice cream truck and I'm on a strict diet.

Blawgerman