Baring My Inner Midriff -- Yuck!

Baring My Inner Midriff -- Yuck!

Ok. I’m not a dainty guy. In fact, I am so large that I have my own gravity. I asked the doctor how I could lose thirty pounds of ugly fat and she told me to cut off my head! The point is, I know that I’m fat. No one needs to tell me not to wear the Speedo to the pool or to the beach. I am well aware of the fact that merely seeing me in a Speedo will necessitate intensive therapy for most. (The question is, will thinking about me in a Speedo have the same effect? – Let me know).

Now, I am in touch with my inner fatness. I am aware of my impact on those around me. Why is it, do you wonder, that most girls and women under 25 years of age don’t seem to have the same self awareness?

The scourge of Brittney Spears is the bare midriff. Sure, it’s been around…..but never in force like it has since the Brittney invasion. All of a sudden, the midsection is the rage. Commercials tell us how to have a “tone, sexy chord” and informertials pound us with all sorts of gadgets designed to firm up the gut. You can even buy a “six pack abs” how-to video by “fitness celebrity” Jon Basedow. (what is a “fitness celebrity?) (what if I have “keg abs?”)

With all of this midsection obsession, young women of all shapes and sizes have determined that the best way to look good is to bare what they got, so to speak. While women of all shapes and sizes have taken on the bare-midriff look, the problem is that only about 2 shapes and sizes of women can make that look work for them. For the rest, well…..in some cases thinking of me in a Speedo is preferable.

What prompts a person to push and cajole their body into skintight pants that barely cover their crotch and then to top off the wardrobe with a shirt that is two sizes two small? Most times, the effect is both startling and disturbing.

I don’t get it…..I know that there is an emphasis on feeling good about one’s self in our society, but I don’t want to flaunt the rolls of fat that I have to strangers and friends simply because I feel good about my body. Just because I may feel good in a Speedo does not give me the inclination to wear one downtown. I would even hope that my friends and family would hit me over the head with a blunt object before letting me parade my extra pounds in full view of the public.

If I can recognize that my shape and image is not appropriate for public viewing, I think that most women can have that same insight. Please.

Remember, if the bare-midriff look ever comes in for men, I promise not to be a slave to fashion!

Blawgerman