Gee, That Baby's Cute (and Other Lies)

Gee, That Baby’s Cute (and Other Lies)


What Do You Say About an Ugly Baby?

Ever have the following situation happen to you? You're somewhere minding your own business and the conversation turns to children. The happy couple is busy showing off their new child. It looks like a mix between Danny DiVito and a Shar-Pei (the wrinkly dog). They ask you about the kid, or worse yet, your wife turns to you and says, “isn’t it a pretty baby?”

Of course, now you’re on the spot. Do you go with honesty? Or do you lie?

Honesty would dictate the following responses:


Man, I wouldn’t have the heart to scare crows with a picture of that kid’s face!

Here, kid. Have a banana.

Pretty? Isn’t pretty in the eye of the beholder?

Of all the kids out there, it’s one of them.

When does its head turn in circles?

Now there’s a face that could crash a thousand ships.

Too bad it’s not a boy. There’s a lot more chances out there for ugly guys than ugly girls.

Yea. Pretty. Of course, splotchy skin and squashed noses are like two of my favorite things.

Geez, did they have to use the foreceps right in the middle of his head? Is that gonna heal?

Will its knuckles always drag the ground?

Yea. Pretty. What’s his name? Curious George?

Ok. When is it gonna start talking in a weird voice, grab the knife, and start chasing us around?

You stare at the kid for a long time and then yell, “It’s Alive!!!!...........................It’s Alive!!!!”

Well, at least plastic surgery has come a long way.

Better start workin’ on that kid’s personality.

Maybe you should lie...................................

Blawgerman