You Know Your Kid’s Ugly When:
Tying two stakes and a pork chop around your kid’s neck isn’t enough to induce your German Shepard to play with him.
An Italian Organ Grinder whose monkey just got run over by a car offers to take your kid “off your hands.”
You’re no longer invited to the “Ugly Baby Contest” just so that other people can have a chance.
The doctor can’t tell which end of the kid he should use to insert the rectal thermometer.
Clearasil cancels your kid’s contract for before and after pictures because their experts have concluded that his acne is terminal.
People keep asking you what type of pet you have in the baby carriage.
He lands the lead part in the school play Frankenstein because they won’t have to use a lot of make-up.
Given the chance to save your kid, Lassie would take her time running into town for help.
The school photographer takes one look at your kid and resigns.
When you brought the kid home from the hospital, your family and friends kept telling you over and over that “Oh well, beauty is only skin deep.”
You Know You’re Ugly When:
Your grandfather sends you out to the fields to scare crows.
Your only successes in dating come from the Medvale School of the Blind.
Your dog only backs up to you when you call him.
Your mother will only kiss you goodnight after you've put the bag on your head.
Your parents install shatterproof mirrors throughout the house.
People keep dropping quarters and dollars into your coffee cup when you sit on park benches.
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1 comment:
You know you're ugly when:
Everyday is Halloween.
You know your kid's ugly when:
Planned Parenthood calls and says sarcastically, "we told you so...we told you so..."
You take your kid to the zoo and people feed him peanuts.
The doctor slaps him on the butt at birth, turns him over and says, "oh, look....twins!"
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